When you’re comforting someone, the two most important things are
- To be your Self
- Let them know you’re there for them
All they need is for the Genuine You to be there for them when they’re ready.
Sometimes they decide when they’re ready. Sometimes you must decide to get their depressed asses out of bed and into the world. Everyone deals with stuff in their own way. Give them space to be them Selves while also letting them know you’re there for them. Then be there for them. Give them a call, go hang out.
Simple Guidelines For Comforting Someone
These are just a few common approaches that may or may not help you to comfort someone.
Explain the process of transformation they’ve been forced into. Once they get used to this new reality, a different path awaits. The way they approach and asimilate to the new reality, largely determines the New Path that emerges for them. Loss can be a very delicate time of transition, when we re-define our Selves. We unknowingly make critical choices which come to define the new reality in which we find our Selves.
You can help guide them through that process by giving them confidence, hope and laughter. Show them that you value them, without smothering them.
If you’re going through a time of dramatic personal transition, it means your Reality has suddenly shifted. Perhaps a support structure has suddenly disappeared. Perhaps you’re not even sure what you’re looking at, but you are sure you don’t want to see it. Without an anchor, it’s only natural to feel anxiety. Here’s how to calm anxiety and stop panic attacks.
Comforting someone means offering your unique form of support. You can offer a new grounding point if they have lost one of theirs. Or strengthen the grounding point you already offer – your friendship.
Try to get them to see the big picture, how it fits together for the better of the Whole. Remind them that there’s more going on than what Humans are aware of.
Let them know they will get through this. Start one breath at a time. Then one day at a time. Time will force then to get through this. Before they know it, they’ll be on their way to long-term re-balance They’ll find a new baseline for daily life in this new, changed reality. They have re-defined them Selves with each breath, each decision, every day.
This will open new avenues and options for them, which did not exist before. They have been set upon a new path and you can help guide them.
Let them know that there’s a future, once they’ve had some time to process the New Reality. A New Life Awaits, but don’t try to force it too soon.
How To Comfort Someone Suffering The Loss Of A Loved One
Soon after the loss of a loved one, it can be impossible to comfort someone. That’s ok. A long process has just begun. At this early stage, there is usually no comfort to be found. It does help to let them know you’re there for them. As they begin healing on their own, you can help.
Death is a powerful force of transformation even for the living. As a friend, you can help them through the process of Healing. This will transform both of you.
Any of the techniques above may or may not apply.
Soon after the loss of a loved one, people will need time to process – from a few days to a few months – to get used to the new reality that’s been forced upon them. Ideally, they then naturally transition into re-establishing some direction within their new environment.
With your help, they have processed the new reality, found a direction and are in the process of re-defining them Selves – not necessarily in that order. Now you’re a part of who they will become.
The Most Powerful Action
Energetically send them your Love and support. Simply think of them and feel Love for them. That’s the single most powerful action anyone can ever take in a physical body. Practice it. Get good at it. Make it your default State of Being. Do this for friends, enemies and all of Humanity.
Your Heart will transform your grieving friend, your Self, the world. Indeed, You Will Alter Dimensions. Consciously using your Will to Love will alter Dimensions.
Conscious Love is the most powerful Force. Even when this physical world screams otherwise, Believe It. Practice It. Know It.
How To Comfort Someone Over Text With A Short Condolence Message
This can be tricky. Texts are made to be short and sweet but you don’t want your direct brevity to come across as insincere. Texts can also be very easily misinterpreted.
In general, you want to make them feel good about them Selves, let them know someone is thinking of them and give them Hope.
Hi John. I’m sorry to hear about your loss (or about your mom’s passing, or whatever fits). Know that I’m praying for you.